Saturday, November 27, 2010

Top 10 Movies You Are Better off Not Watching


1. You’ve Got Mail

Any movie that stars Meg Ryan has to be slightly boring but this one definitely takes the cake. It revolves around two rival bookstore owners who start chatting on the internet without knowing each other’s identities. He finds out and falls in love with her but she hates him. Surprise surprise, she falls in love with him too in the end.

2. Legends of the Fall

Legends of the Fall talks about William Ludlow and his sons Samuel, Alfred and Tristan. It is set in the earlier part of the 20th century and the plot unfolds to reveal quite a tangled web. Samuel’s fiancée, Susanna falls in love with Tristan while Alfred falls in love with her. The bond that exists between the three brother is obviously ultimately broken.

3. AI- Artificial Intelligence

David is played by Haley Joel Osment, an advanced robot who hopes to develop real emotions in order to gain back the love of his estranged mother. His journey is quite long and will make you fall asleep.

4. Vanilla Sky

Vanilla Sky stars Tom Cruise who plays the character of David Aames. David takes everything for granted- especially his friends, lovers and family members. The movie pulls the audience into the character’s twisted psyche. This may sounds interesting but it honestly is not.


5. The English Patient

The English Patient revolves around a Hungarian mapmaker who is slowly but surely losing his memory. The story is so dull and so boring, that you will want to pull your hair out by the end of it. It also features a troubled nurse and thief of some sort.

6. The Black Dahlia

This movie is set in Los Angeles during the 1940s and follows the journey of two cops, Lee Blanchard and Bucky Bleichart who are trying to figure out the dynamics behind Elizabeth Short’s murder. Bucky finds out that his girlfriend knew Elizabeth and also realizes that the police department is laced with conspiracy and corruption. How shocking.


7. Ripley’s Game

Tom Ripley is cool and murderous and lives in a gigantic villa with his unusual girlfriend. Somebody he used to know contacts him and asks him to kill off a rival. Tom then goes on to frame an innocent farmer. If you watch this movie, you should also watch grass growing and compare the two to see which is more interesting.

8. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

Sissy Hankshaw hitchhikes her way to New York and becomes an advertising model. The movie also features some whooping cranes and a cowgirl named Bonanza Jellybean. If this synopsis has not bored you enough, you should go watch the movie.

9. Safe

This movie revolves around Carol who starts complaining about nosebleeds, congestion and has trouble breathing almost every day. Nobody can figure out what’s wrong with her and ultimately it is revealed that she is suffering from “Environmental Illness”. No, this is not a parody- it is a mainstream movie.


10. Gerry

Gerry stars Casey Affleck and Matt Damon and talks about their journey through a desert which starts off as a hike. They soon realize that they were dumb enough to forget to carry food or water. They walk around and make the audience feel that Van Sant took it upon himself to bore them senseless.

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